A Little Self Improvement in Retirement
Ann Roggenbuck
I am still adjusting to my new life as a retiree in a new environment. In my past life as a CEO, I was both insulated and isolated with most information presented and discussioned highly filtered. Let’s face it, the boss is the scapegoat for anything going wrong in the work place and nobody wants to talk to them unless they are mad as hell or want something. The reality of professional leadership is a lonely existence and not a job anyone would or should aspire to and usually just a combination of credentials, ambition and timing that leads to the corner office. Once you arrive, your world is about big picture strategy, making go/no go decisions and soundbite communication because time is money. All the messy people and process work is left to managers and supervisors to sort out once they leave your office. However, on the way to becoming a leader your charge is often to “go first” through the land mines so the troops can safely navigate the playing field. This is where the “courageous risk taking” side of leadership comes into play. You are in constant battle between the “can do/will do” requirements of leadership and the often “can’t do/won’t do” paradigm of the workplace. Along the way, you are exposed to all kinds of crazy stories and to keep stress at bay and add a little levity a colleague of mine used to say: “Remember there is a wide range of normal out there.” Isn’t that the truth!
Retirement life is a whole new world for me and here are the lessons I am learning:
- It is no longer my job to work the room or be on stage. This is a relief and something I looked forward to but my past role “taking charge” is difficult to change and I often have to remind myself to just “cool my jets.”
- I am now the follower or learner in the interactions and environments I am in which has required “gentle coaching” from patient kind teachers and new friends/neighbors. Getting feedback instead of giving feedback is new for me and not so easy to take. I want and need it so am graciously and humbly listening to feedback and trying to change my behavior accordingly.
- I realize that most everyone I meet now has a choice in how much they want to interact with me. As such, I am learning to listen better out of personal interest and/or as an opportunity to learn rather than over-asserting my opinions or pushing my own agenda.
- I am a very direct person and have always been challenged with practicing good boundaries which is even more important building new personal relationships in this stage of life. I have found that trying to show interest in new acquaintances by asking too many questions too fast is often perceived as being pushy and/or nosy. Letting relationships develop more organically seems like a better path.
- In our travel experiences I have spoken about the need to avoid “judging other” who live in a different culture. This is just as important when moving to a new environment in our own country where people have different values, beliefs and lifestyles and have had different life experiences. It requires one to judiciously practice the “live and let live” philosophy.
I guess these revelations are all just “best practices” for life but may require further reflection upon retirement from any role or field. Moving forward, I will continue to pursue the tweaks necessary to successfully “come home.” 2018